I'd Rather Be with a Real Man(TM) Any Day!

by 3rd WWWave

Real Men

Real men read books and like foreign movies better than Hollywood ones.

Real men stroke me lightly all up and down my body, tickle my feet, and massage my back, without assuming it's foreplay.

Real men love exotic food, and aren't afraid to try new dishes.

Real men aren't afraid to touch other men, and are comfortable around gay men even if they're straight.

Real men like to watch me play sports. (And maybe even play with me on a coed team).

Real men like colored underwear.

Real men practice at least one kind of expressive art (music, painting, writing, etc). Working on cars does not count.

Real men like getting flowers as much as giving them.

Real men like to play, and know that it has nothing to do with foreplay and everything to do with being young at heart.

A real man likes to lean against a tree and watch the sunset fade.

Real men like furry and cuddly baby animals as much as women do.

A real man knows how to train an animal with patience and a calm attitude, rather than by force of will.

Real men throw away the can that they opened and ate from, instead of leaving it on the kitchen counter.

Real men clean bathrooms. Including scrubbing the toilet. And the bathtub.

Real men clean up after the pet that just hacked all over the carpet, instead of waiting 12 hours for the woman to come home from work and clean it up.

Real men buy thier wives seasons tickets to plays and theatres instead of sporting events.

Real men remember anniversaries and birthdays and other sentimental events.

Real men listen.

Real men kneel to me gracefully.

Real men clean the kitchen.

Real men eat quiche.

Real men change diapers.

Real men wear latex boots and perfume and NOTHING ELSE, and grow their hair down to their kneecaps.

Real men get me white wine and ice cream whenever I ask, and think nothing of driving 125 miles to a Japanese restaurant to pick me up some sushi when I feel like it.

Real men do not leave the seat up.

Real men give me footrubs and backrubs.

Real men respond to all demands with, "Yes, Milady."

Real men do laundry. My laundry.

Real men get my car tuned up when I'm too lazy to pry my ass out of bed and drop it off. They also feed my cats and clean the catbox.

Real men cook. REAL real men also wash the dishes.

Real men read Shakespeare aloud to thier lovers.

Real men read.

Real men actually like going to musicals and the ballet and aren't just humoring thier wives.

Real men cry at sad movies.

Real men kill the ants and then fucking clean them up plus removing what attracted them in the first place.

Real men buy sexy underwear for themselves. (And model it proudly for me.)

Real men have no fear of pink.

Real men don't shrivel when someone calls them gay.

Real men use their fingers and tongues, not just their penises, to give pleasure in sex.

...Real men are people, not wind-up dolls.

NOTE: If you found yourself reacting to this page as objectionable ("Gosh, should they be doing this? Can they really say this stuff when they're supposed to be against the objectification of women?"), then please read our responses to such sentiments.