Relationships, Etc.

Second wave feminism made some amazing advances for women. When women of our generation think about the 60's and 70's feminists, it's important for us to realize that, before they dug in and started the hard work of changing things for us all, women:

• couldn't get credit. No MasterCard, no Visa, no nothing. Gurl, you want those plane tickets, you'd better ask your hubby to get them for you. Oh, by the way, you are married, aren't you? You want those textbooks for college? Same thing.
• could get fired by an employer because he wanted a man, and they wouldn't even try to hide it. "A man needs this job; he has to provide for his family." Well, maybe if the wife is going to work, it means they need the money, too.
• fended off passes and gropes on the job without any legal recourse, whereas now we have some laws in place for us. "Oh, it's just flirting." Although this still has a lo-o-o-ong way to go.
• were routinely laughed out of court if we tried to press charges of rape. "Were you wearing nice perfume?"
• had much less chance of getting into college (did you know that nowdays, more four year degrees are awarded to women than men?). "We just don't like to accept girl applicants for law degrees. They just get pregnant and leave."

It wasn't the Ward and June paradise that some people think it was before the coming of feminism. It's important to remember that.

But the second wave also left behind some things that we have to deal with now. We don't want to buy into the old saying that, "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." Sure, we don't need them -- but they're nice to have around sometimes.

And that means that we have to start thinking about the problems that confront women with men -- and not necessarily the more egregious problems of marital rape and wifebeating, although those problems are crucial and must be solved. There has to be a feminist arena for talking not only about that, but about child care, sharing household duties, how to keep a marriage happy. There has to be a feminist way of talking about relationships between men and women without making it seem like rape and beatings are the whole subject.

Read on for more!

• What I Did For.... by Alana Wingfoot (03/09/2001)
• Switching the Traditional Roles: Analysis of a Failed Experiment by Alana Wingfoot (12/27/2000)
• "I Just Don't Understand Women!" by Kim Allen (04/23/2000)
• Proposition 22, State's Rights, and Marriage by Janis Cortese (03/09/2000)
• Mission: Improbable by Alana Wingfoot (08/18/1999)
• Thoughts of a Not-So-Newlywed Feminist:
  The Reality Check by Alana Wingfoot (08/18/1999)
• Who Gets Custody? by Alana Wingfoot (09/29/1998)
• Internet Relationships by Alana Wingfoot (09/02/1998)
• Feminism and Motherhood by Alana Wingfoot (08/10/1998)
• Give and Take -- who gives, who takes by Janis Cortese (07/30/1998)
• Thoughts of a Newlywed Feminist by Alana Wingfoot (03/09/1998)
• The Dream Marriage by Janis Cortese (12/17/1997)
• I Wish I Were Just A Housewife! by Janis Cortese (12/17/1997)